design copyBetter matches, better dates.

You’ve seen the commericals either on TV or online about eHarmony, one of the most recognized names in online dating.

Launched by Neil Clark Warren in 2000, eHarmony currently has 778,000 active users. It has had 66,000,000 members since its inception and boasts 2,000,000 marriages. (I personally know two couples who got married to their eHarmony matches, but I find that figure suspiciously high.)

I am going to go over the site’s features, as well as its pros and cons. After reading this post, you should have a better idea if eHarmony is something you should try.

Basic features:

  • iPhone and Android app, as well ask a full desktop site
  • Extensive personality profile that takes 45-60 minutes to fill out
  • eHarmony boasts their personality profile will allow them to send you the most accurate matches of any dating profile because they do the screening for you
  • Ability to receive up to seven matches a day

What you do: Starting an account is not for the faint of heart. Make a cup of coffee or grab a glass of wine. You need to block out almost an hour answering 258 questions from your parents’ marriage to whether you are an extrovert or introvert. After you run through that gauntlet, you write up your profile and upload up to a dozen pictures.

Pros:

  • This site is pretty intuitive to use. It’s easy to narrow your search criteria to get a more accurate match.
  • While I’m not a psychologist, I appreciate the science that eHarmony uses in analyzing your personality profile.
  • eHarmony features tons of articles on dating which are actually well written, very relatable, and do contain lots of good information.
  • If you like message boards, eHarmony’s boards are full of genuinely nice folks who are happy to offer advice not only on dating, but friendships, faith, finances, and even recipes. There are hundreds of threads and I can easily spend hours messaging and enjoying the camaraderie they provide.
  • eHarmony offers free three-day weekends every two or three months. A couple I know actually met on the free weekend. They’ve been together nine years and just had their first baby.

Cons:

  • It is one of the most expensive of the major online dating sites. There are different tiers with various features, but if you want to subscribe to the Basic Plan for a month just to try, it’s $60. The three-month and six-month plans are $30 a month (which are the levels I would recommend), while the 12-month plan is $20 monthly. You do have to pay in full up front, but it is worth it to Google “Eharmony coupons”!
  • Only having seven matches, even if they are specially tailored to you and your personality, is extremely limiting.
  • Of those matches, there is no way to know how active they are on the site. I think that was the thing I hated most about the site was being matched with men who were no longer active users.
  • While I understand this is a Christian company and their values, it still disappoints me greatly that gays are not allowed to use this site. Yes, there are other online options for gay dating, but this discrimination does not sit well with me.
  • Even if you are straight and are willing to pay, there is no guarantee eHarmony will even let you set up a profile. Roughly 20% of people who take the survey are deemed incompatible for eHarmony (by eHarmony) if they have been married more than four times, provide inconsistent answers on the questionnaire, or are identified as potentially having severe depression.

Overall impression: Even with all the drawbacks, I think it is worth a shot if you find your dating life stale. I recommend taking out a three-month subscription to see if you like it.

I have had three or four dates with men I met off eHarmony. One was a divorced baseball fanatic and that was literally the only thing he talked about. After talking about our jobs, I had to listen to him drone on for two hours about pretty much every baseball game he ever saw and rattle off baseball statistics from 1987. (My huge mistake was that I happened to mention I loved the Kansas City Royals.) He had the personality of a dial tone and guess what?! There was no second date.

Another was a lawyer who I mentioned last week I drove about 3 hours to meet. While he was nice enough, he had the audacity to take a 30-minute long call from his mother during our date. What’s more, he was clearly 10 years older than his profile’s pictures. He was very much balding and his monochromatic black did not disguise the fact he was 50+ pounds heavier than his pictures. I even got him to admit he used old photos because he wanted women to be attracted to him, not his money. (For the record, I am not a gold-digger. And I never use photos more than a year old in my profile—I make it clear I am plus-sized.) Shocker—no second date!

While the site is frustratingly limited in the number of matches they send and because I think a number of your matches are inactive users, I don’t think this site is quite the value Match.com is, but I think it is certainly worth a try. The articles and message boards are valuable features if you use them, and the science behind the matches is certainly intriguing.

Has this post piqued your interest in eHarmony? Or have you actually tried it yourself? Comment below!