A manifesto. A statement of beliefs. A rant. Call it whatever you want, this is a list of seven priorities we plus-sized singletons should reach for as we live our best lives.
Just remember that we are all works in progress. I know I work on all of these, and I don’t necessarily practice all of these every single day. But I am human—the journey is the destination, not perfection.
- She cares about her health. “If you are overweight, you are at increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, blah, blah, blah…” OK, WE GET IT!!! We understand being thin(ner) is medically and socially preferable to being overweight. We have lived with fat-shaming from our elementary school PE classes, or even earlier. Just shut UP already!!!
Don’t tell us what we can and cannot do just because we aren’t thin. We run marathons, do yoga, SCUBA dive, are certified aerobic instructors, and lift weights. We are not lazy and we are not couch potatoes. We care about our health, we exercise, and eat correctly because this is the only body we get in this lifetime!
She is not ignoring the link between her weight and her health, but the curvy single woman concentrates on her health on her own terms.
- She radiates simple, natural beauty. Who has time to sift through thousands of beauty products or item of plus-size clothing? I don’t! But I do know what I like and works best for my body type. I advocate looking my best without spending my hard-earned cash on items I will only wear one season or being a slave to the current trends.
The Plus One Woman takes a page out of the Frenchwomen’s beauty book. She does not need to cake herself in makeup, spend more than 15-20 minutes on her hair, or go much beyond a carefully cultivated capsule wardrobe to exude a simple, natural beauty. Her look transcends the decades and no matter what the occasion, she is chic and ready to go!
- She is financially savvy. Because she isn’t married, the Plus One Woman doesn’t have the luxury of a second income. She knows how to spend, save, and give in equal terms. Paying thousands of dollars in interest to credit card companies is not in her life plan. Investing for the future, planned purchases, and owning her own home mean so much more to her than next the impulse trip to Walmart or Target.
I am just as guilty of racking up credit card debt, and I learned from my mistakes. I spent more than 7 long years working multiple jobs to pay off $30,000 in debt. It was only thanks to my introduction to Dave Ramsey that I took control of my financial life. The secret was perseverance and an old-fashioned work ethic. Now that I am debt-free, my budget goes to things I actually feel good about—beefing up my savings and travelling!
- She cultivates positive relationships wherever she goes. Life is too short to deal with the toxic family member, the boorish boyfriend, or the dismissive co-worker. The Plus One Woman recognizes that while she cannot change people’s behavior, she can control how she reacts to every situation.
While it is very difficult both in theory and in practice, the curvy singleton does not have time to waste on people who drain her life forces like vampires. It’s OK to (mentally!) flip off these people and go about her day. She shouldn’t give her mental or emotional real estate to these people.
Instead, she seeks out positive people because she feeds on their energy. She fills her life with those who will validate and love her for who she is. In doing this, she becomes an unstoppable force.
- She is strong. Many Plus One Women have spent the best years of their lives being wallflowers. From high school dances to college relationships to breaking the glass ceiling at work…they were content to fade into the background and let others shine.
Depending on her background, she has been programmed to seek approval from family/friends/teachers/co-workers. In the past, she sought validation from others.
We are sick and tired of apologizing and being bullied for our gender/weight/shortcomings. It is time to take front and center stage!
We want people to look at us beyond our size. We should be seen as the beautiful, smart, funny, confident women that we are now. If someone cannot recognize our individual spark of genius, they are not worthy of our time.
We’re here. We have no fear. Deal with it.
- She is smart. You don’t need a PhD in microbiology or astrophysics to be smart. A Plus One Woman seeks knowledge wherever she is. Whether it is the reading the latest bestseller, taking a weekend road trip, keeping abreast of current events, or even keeping up on pop culture, you are in the know. You have a dozen topics of conversation at hand for small talk and parties. You are always improving your mind and are not content to be just another pretty face. (Although you are!)
She is not only a reader, but she is a volunteer and activist for causes she believes in passionately. She reads, listens to music, travels, goes to cultural events, and smartly consumes media even when no one is looking because she knows her brain is her sexiest asset, and will remain sexy until her dying day.
- She strives to be her authentic self. As cliché as it may be, Shakespeare was right on the money when he said, “This above all, to thine own self be true.”
Think about it…we only have about 79 years to enjoy this life. To laugh, to love, to grow, to experience every day to the fullest. I love British history, Star Trek, Lawrence Welk re-runs, nachos, and romance novels. Should I have to apologize for any of that? HELL NO!!!
Nor should you apologize if you are shy, swear a lot, walk slow, prefer staying at home, want to wear fishnet stockings, snore, or you love NASCAR. You are who you are, and no excuses are needed.
Find what you love and DO IT. Learn who you are and BE YOURSELF.